The woman who possesses all the treasures
To offer up a taste of carnal pleasures
The woman who inspires brutal passions and enthralls
The woman’s sentimental above all
Romantic promenades and gentle murmurs
Love letters, serenades and pretty flowers
All the petty crimes that her eyes push us to fulfill
May move her, but still

Ninety-five percent of the time
Fucking bores her out of her mind
Whether she denies it or speaks
It’s not every day someone spreads opens her cheeks
The poor fools who think otherwise
Will be cuckolds all of their lives
When it’s time to work the flesh
She is very often depressed
If she hears no beating heart
Her body will not play the part

Only when she loves with tenderness is
She sensitive to his gentle caresses
Always so well disposed, enthusiastic and heroic
She’s bored to tears and doesn’t even know it
When her desires are verging on demonic
Or when her nymphomania becomes chronic
That’s when she gives her man
Who can hardly believe his luck
One amazing fuck

Ninety-five percent of the time
Fucking bores her out of her mind
Whether she denies it or speaks
It’s not every day someone spreads opens her cheeks
The poor fools who think otherwise
Will be cuckolds all of their lives
When it’s time to work the flesh
She is very often depressed
If she hears no beating heart
Her body will not play the part

All the “oh yeahs” the “mores” the “give it to mes”
That she cries out to simulate her swooning
Are simply charity, the holy angel’s blissful sighs
Are actually nothing more than pious lies
Their only use it to convince her beau, yeah
That he’s the most amazing Romeo, yeah
So this pretentious cock,
Stupidly perched on her backside
Will not lose his pride

Ninety-five percent of the time
Fucking bores her out of her mind
Whether she denies it or speaks
It’s not every day someone spreads opens her cheeks
The poor fools who think otherwise
Will be cuckolds all of their lives
When it’s time to work the flesh
She is very often depressed
If she hears no beating heart
Her body will not play the part

I hear the endless boasting saber rattles
Of those who take tours of Cythera’s castles
It’s only because you are so clumsy and inept in fact
That she keeps her composure so intact
But if you find the bragging aggravating
Of Mr. Watch-me-while-I’m-copulating
Ladies, while on your back
Why don’t you take a little rest
And sing under your breath

Ninety-five percent of the time
Fucking bores her out of her mind
Whether she denies it or speaks
It’s not every day someone spreads opens her cheeks
The poor fools who think otherwise
Will be cuckolds all of their lives
When it’s time to work the flesh
She is very often depressed
If she hears no beating heart
Her body will not play the part